The Royal Family's Routine
by vbchickVLVR
Summary: Another normal day in the life of Veggie and Bulma. (Not really)Pretty short, but good if you wanna learn some new comebacks for arguments! Actually, I some of this from an argument at school.
1. Some people!

**Note: YES. I KNOW I HAVE TO FINISH MY OTHER FIC BUT I HAD AN IDEA! SO DON'T FLAME ME!!! This idea came to me and I couldn't put it off much longer. I still have to finish "The Wives of Prince Jerk and Goofy," but I'm afraid I'll forget this idea. I forget stuff like this easily and remember the stupid things! *Sigh***

**Summary: Another normal day in the life of Veggie and Bulma.  Really corny. Pretty short, but good if you wanna learn some new comebacks for arguments! Actually, I some of this from an argument at school.**

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            It was 12:00: the usual time of lunch and arguments. It was routine. They didn't even seem to notice, though Goku thought it was _quite _strange.

            "Damn it, woman. This stuff tastes like shit! I'd much rather eat myself than eat this crap!" Vegeta complained, standing up out of his chair.  Vegeta decided to start, as usual.

            "Vegeta, even though I can't cook, it _does_ taste a lot better than you!" she retorted, getting up herself. He just put his hands on his hips (which is the stance he adopted from Bulma) and opened his mouth to relpy.

            "I'll have you know that I'm a _lot_ better looking than you will _ever_ be!" he replied, pronouncing each word with his own special accents and twists.

            "Vegeta! You have no dick!" she fumed, teeth bared. It looked like she was gonna break her teeth off!

            "Oh, really?" he said with sass. "What happened to the one I shoved down your mouth?" he asked, smirking. She had to admit that was pretty funny, and betrayed herself by smiling. "It went all the way down your throat!" Now she was on the ground, kicking from laughter.

            "I…bit…it…off!" she replied in between fits of laughter.

            "WHAT!?" he roared. "THAT'S DISGUSTING! THE SAIYAN PRINCE WITHOUT HIS MANHOOD?" She started chocking because she couldn't breath from laughing too much. He grimaced, but it quickly faded away when he grinned. "Why don't we settle this tonight?" he asked sexily.

            She  stopped laughing and looked at him, grinning. "Yea, why don't we?" she replied.

(You know what happens next! You can't be THAT stupid!)

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**Review people! I know it wasn't very funny and it was very stupid, but I just wanted to see what would happen if I posted it. R&R peeps!**


	2. Saturday Dreams

Note: The day I wrote the previous chapter I was laughin' on the inside because that exact argument happened at school except for the fact she was cooking. I didn't think anybody would read it. I must have been high off something cause I didn't even remember posting it until the next day. ^_^ Well, here's another chapter I thought up.

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            It was a typical Friday. Chi Chi, Goku, Bulma, and Vegeta were in the backyard by the pool. Bulma and Chi Chi were tanning on the extended lawn chairs while the boys were sparring in their bathing shorts. After about an hour, they decided to get a drink.

            "I love Fridays!" exclaimed Goku, stretching. Bulma took a sip from her lemonade and then set it down on the mini table in-between Chi Chi and her. She looked up at him.

            "To me, Fridays are nothing but Saturday mornings," she argued, not having a very good day. He looked down at her.

            "What do you mean?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. 

            "Imbecile!" Vegeta snarled. "She means that Friday's are really Saturday mornings. People sleep in on Saturday mornings, so she's saying Friday's are dreams!" he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

            "Or more like nightmares…" Bulma muttered, remembering she had to finish a huge experiment by next week. Goku looked from Vegeta to Bulma.

            "I still don't get it," he admitted.

            "FWACK!" That right there was the sound of Chi Chi's lemonade glass connecting with Goku's head.

            "Now do you get it?"

            "Yea, I think." *Sweat drop* "But if we're in it, it's a good dream, right Bulma?" he inquired, 100 percent interested now. Bulma sat up and took off her shades. She put on a physiatrist look.

            "Yes, Goku. But, see, it's only a good dream if the people who are in it try to be good. I try to be a good person, Goku. Do _You_ try to be a good person?" Goku thought for a while, tears coming to his eyes.

            "It's just, I try so hard, you know?" he said, chocking because he's crying for no reason whatsoever.

            "Oh my god," Vegeta grumbled, rolling his eyes.

            "BE A GOOD PERSON!" Goku roared, smacking Vegeta upside the head, sending Vegeta flying into the wall. The wall broke, leaving Vegeta piled beneath a stack of bricks. Everyone blinked. Suddenly a head popped up and Vegeta stood up, bruised and battered. He raised a finger.

            "E… equal… mc…squared???" he said before fainting. 

            "Vegeta!" Bulma squealed, running over to pick him up. She leaned her head over his, examining him.

            "I'm OK!" he yelped, bringing his head up suddenly. Consequently, his head "becoming one" with Bulma's.

            "I'm not…" Bulma moaned before Vegeta helped her up.

            She went back to her lawn chair and Vegeta spread out on the one beside her. "People! Can we stop playing around? I'm trying to take part in a serious conversation here!" Goku accused. *Sweat drop*

            "Ok! Back to the dreams. I personally think today is a nightmare," Bulma announced, rubbing the bruise on her head.

            "Yea, it must be bad if you're in it…" Vegeta grumbled. Bulma forgot the pain and glared at him.

            "Right. The only worse thing is your face, Vegeta," she shot back.

            "That's not what your mom thought last night now, is it?" he fired. Everyone started laughing, including Bulma.

            "Really, you guys fight like teenagers…" Chi Chi scolded, though she was laughing. Bulma and Vegeta looked at each other.

            "Hypocrite!"

            "Jackass!"

            "Pond Scum"

            "Shit face"

            "Bitch"

            "Hoar"

            "Slut"

            "Ass"

The comments flew back and forth for hours (is that possible? I didn't know there were that many insults in the world!) Chi Chi and Goku had left hours ago.

            "Yo momma so fat, that before God could say 'let there be light' he said 'move yo big but outta the way!'"

            "Oh, yea? Yo' momma…"

As you can see.  There _are _that many insults in the world. So, what have you learned today folks? Yes? You in the back.

            "I learned that people are idiots and everyone is a shit face."

Very good! What did you learn?

            "I learned that everyday is a bad dream so that I won't have to feel guilty about that guy I murdered before coming here."

OK. You?

            "I learned that you should be careful because your boyfriend could be cheating on you for your mom." *Looks at her boyfriend and her mom suspiciously.

Very good! Class dismissed!

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**I'm dead today, so I know that wasn't very funny but I just wanted to type so I came up with this shit. Later!**


	3. The Truth About Babies

**Note: I have to say myself that I'm quite proud of this chapter. I think I did a pretty good job in the humor department. ^_^ Uh, well, maybe. -_-**

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"Yeowch!" Bulma screeched as another wave of pain hit her. Why did she have to do this? Why? Oh, the pain! It hurt so much. "Ah!" she squealed as it hit her again. She pulled. She crumpled under as pain racked through her perfect body. She pulled again, knowing it hurt now but would be beneficial latter. Tears were streaming down her beautiful face from…

            "Woman!" a voice interrupted her. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

            She pulled again. "What do you think, dumb ass? I'm waxing!" she cried between pulls. (Didn't expect that, huh? ^_^)

            He blinked for a good few minutes. "Oh," he said, and walked away.

            "Mom! Pizza's here!" Trunks cried. (I know he wasn't in any other chapters so lets just say Bra and Trunks spend a lot of nights at the Son's house.)

            "Mom!" a pisses female voice accused from the doorway. "You started without me!"

            "Bra, you are only 7 years old. You will not be waxing or even shaving anytime soon." Bulma explained. Bra humphed and walked out, heading toward the source of the delicious pizza smell. (I'm going to pretend Bra is 7 and Trunks is 15. I don't know the entire timeline by heart, so don't get pissed and flame me.)  Bulma put the 'gear' away and went to the kitchen herself.

            Vegeta was already there (obviously) with Trunks. Bra was at the fridge getting a drink. The 'men' of the family had already eaten 6 boxes and were working at the 7th. The feminine side of the family seated themselves at the table and started on their share (which was one pizza split between both).

            Bulma looked at her wonderful (*clears throat to signal something) family and noticed a strange look on Bra's face. She was sitting at the table, staring at her pizza without even touching it. Bulma put her slice down.

            "Bra, honey, what's wrong?" Vegeta glanced up from work and looked at his little princess. Bra shifted in her seat as if uncomfortable. It was the same look a child gets when they want to ask a question but is too afraid (or embarrassed) to ask. Even Trunks looked to see what was up with the annoying brat that tormented his so. He took a big drink of his Coke while looking at Bra from the corner of his eye.

            Bra looked up at her mom. "Well, Mom, uh, you see, I was just wondering…" She paused and looked down at her pizza. "Where do babies come from?" she asked silently.

            "PPPPPPTTTWWWWWWW!" Trunks started chocking of the remainder of his Coke (not that there was any in his mouth anymore). Bulma nearly fainted, and Vegeta just went back to eating as if he didn't care about what she just asked. Once he finished two seconds later, he wiped his mouth (he's a Prince, remember?) and looked at Bulma with a look that says "you idiot!"

            "What do you think your mother and I've been doing-" He was cut off as a result of Bulma clamping her hand over his mouth.

            "at the store?" she covered. Bra's eyes widened.

            "You buy babies at the store?" she thought for a moment. 

            "That's my cue, Ma!" Trunks said. "I've got really important rock music to listen to!" he said, bolting out so he could call Goten and fill him in.

            "Uh! Yea!" Bulma affirmed. Vegeta, on the other hand, was about to faint from lack of air.

            "Then I want a baby!" Bra demanded, stomping her little foot.

            "Uh, we'll think about it…" Bulma said quickly, and dragged Vegeta out to their bedroom. Bra was left alone.

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-_- OK. Maybe I'm not so proud of my chapter. Can you blame me for trying? Huh? *Sigh* Well, I've got some moping to do. See ya around. (Apologies from grammar errors. I'm too lazy to proofread. ^_^)

***Announcer guy comes on***

**Will Vegeta ever get fresh air again? Will Bra ever truly find out where babies come from? Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!**


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